Hunour

What The Hell.....

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in
despair, he has his first meeting the devil.

devil: Why so glum, chum?

Guy: What do you think? I`m in hell.

Devil: Hell`s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down
here.
You a drinkin` man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well, you`re gonna love Mondays then.
On Mondays, that`s
all we do is drink... Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet
Tab... We drink till we throw up, and then we drink some more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Devil: All right! You`re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the
finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin` lungs out.
If you get cancer, it`s okay... you`re already dead.

Guy: Wow !

Devil: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day.
Craps,blackjack, horse races, you name it.
We even opened up a pai gowpoker table.

Guy: Gosh, I never played pai gow before...

Devil: Well now you can.
You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don`t mean...

Devil: That`s right!...Thursday is drug day.
Help yourself to a
great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You
can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it`s okay...you`re already dead.

Guy: Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin` place!

Devil: HEHE ...You gay?

Guy: nervously he says ," Ummm,.. No."

Demon: Oooh,..
Then i hate to tell ya , But you`re really gonna hate Fridays....

Coke someone?

Obama Joke

100 years ago...old books said that if a 'black' was to be a US president,
the pigs would fly...in 2008 Obama became the president of the US and...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SWINE S FLU [flew]

Teacher's phone.....

For a Change

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.

They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.


The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.

After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left, "Would you care to do it again?"

He asks her "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head."

My hobby!

Does Management know their Staff ?

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the
Company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such
A personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"


Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed
$6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here
I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.


Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,
"And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"